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January 1, 2011
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Humans love to see,
others in pain and hurt.
Taken by a killing spree,
kids crawling through the dirt.

People turning blind,
surrounded by darkness.
Scared and left behind,
running around so anxious.

The sound is gone,
checking each ear.
Keep yelling, until dawn,
but they will never hear.

A cold chill to the core.
Little kids suffocating.
Lack of oxygen or
is the water overtaking?

Lone souls in bane.
Pushed through hell.
Cutting another vein,
hurting friends as well

Just that click.
You lost control.
Destroyed, brick by brick.
Lost thoughts, dwelling soul.

Filled with anger
cause you're going numb.
Can't move a finger,
not even a thumb.

Declared as a sadist,
just a state of mind.
Not fit for a therapist.
A total loss of mankind.

After all, In the end,
all memories go away.
Remember me as a friend,
I don't want to fade astray.

2010, Benny Temmerman
:iconarcainwolf:
a poem filled with fear,

- mass kill
- going blind
- going deaf
- suffocating/drowning
- suicide by bullying
- goin insane
- paralyzed
- sadism
- being forgotten

what are you affraid of? what are your biggest fears?
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:icon007balel:
~007Balel Jan 3, 2011  Student Writer
I love the main aspect of fear that you present through this poem.
It is like each stanza increases the intensity of the fear... leaving you breathless (in a good way )
Great job :)
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:icon007balel:
~007Balel Jan 4, 2011  Student Writer
You're welcome :)
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:iconathenaaqua:
Deep seated fear of...is it called phobophobism? Also, fly into fits of rage when I detect bs. On the other hand....sheesh. happy new year
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:iconarcainwolf:
what are you?
this is like the most complicated comment ever to decode!

take care and a happy easter for you too!
Reply
:iconeisashultzie:
this is an amazing piece.. it's deep and profound, and I think you pulled it off well. :D
you have one little error in this stanza:

"Lone souls in bane.
Pushed through hell.
Cutting another vein,
hurting friends aswell"
I would put a space in "aswell" so that it's "as" and "well".

Other than that, it's amazing! Great job!
Keep on writing, and Don't forget to be awesome!
EisaShultzie :heart:
Reply
:iconarcainwolf:
Thank you so much for your comment!
and thanks for correcting!
i'll adjust it in a minute,
as i want to say sorry, english is not my main language :)

thanks again!
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:iconmagicaljoey:
I like the way each stanza is full of the fear and adds to the whole poem yet can stand on its own.
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:iconarcainwolf:
thank you for your kind words :)
just trying my best, as english is not my main language :p
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